The Christmas Gift that Could Save a Marriage

This article, entitled "The Christmas Gift that Could Save a Marriage," comes from Rebecca Regnier, MomsEveryday blogger from Toledo, OH.

If I could advise young couples starting out about how to decide if you're compatible I wouldn't question them about religion, family, career, or even thermostat preferences. No. I'd ask them their philosophy in loading a dishwasher. This can make or break your relationship.

Take heed and so you don't wind up where my husband and I are, some 24 years into matrimony, we're so incompatible in one area, that it may wind up costing us hundreds of dollars. Unless Santa comes down the chimney with a major appliance.

This Christmas what we REALLY need is his and hers dishwasher. It could save our marriage.

My husband says my dishwasher loading skills are subpar. I’ve heard him say, “It’s like Animal from The Muppets put the forks in here.”

In the interest of equal time I've interviewed my husband for this post.

Me: How would you describe my dishwasher loading style?

Husband: I’m torn between “purposeful placement ignorance” and “organizational anarchist.” Chimps have stacked boxes in a more organized way to get bananas.

Me: So how do you describe YOUR dishwasher loading style?

Husband: The Correct One.

My one true love is disgusted with my bohemian, let the forks fall where they may, hippie chic, the- dishes-will-find –their-own-place-in –the- racks attitude.

My husband claims my mosh pit style obscures the jets, confuses the cutlery and encourages delinquency in minors. He’s got a system of taller cups on the inside upper rack, shorter mugs along the outside upper rack and then plates go to military school while bowls do sit ups to get less round in the middle. Apparently more dishes can fit in this way and they’ll actually get clean.

The problem is I don’t care. I think of the dishwasher as a place to store things. If they get clean in the interim that’s a bonus. And I’m not going to mention here that I wash the pans in the sink even when it isn’t my turn while my husband claims everything needs to soak. “It needs to soak” is code for, “I’m not washing that.”

His and Hers Dishwashers could be the key to our continued wedded bliss.

So I urge all those young and in love and considering marriage to step a away from the Pinterest boards depicting glamorous barnyard receptions and really examine your partner's dishwasher loading philosophy. Your future cutlery will thank you.

About the Author...
Rebecca Regnier
Rebecca Regnier is an award winning journalist. She hosts a television show called Rebecca Regnier’s Full Plate and writes a weekly newspaper humor column.