Blogger Maralee Bradley, amusingmaralee.com, contributed segments of her recent blog for our “Blog Out Loud” video. Here are exerpts of her blog she read for us:
Dear C-Section Mama,
As the heavier medication wears off and you start to put the pieces of what just happened to you together, there is a lot to process. Remember that birth plan you wrote? So much beautiful idealism. You watched “The Business of Being Born” and made your husband swear he wouldn’t let anyone intimidate you into unnecessary medication.
You believed in your body and your strength as a woman that you could do what women have been doing since the dawn of time. And then what started in the most natural of ways went all wrong.
And at some point when the contractions didn’t stop and your baby was turned all wrong and the room filled up with medical strangers and your midwife started to look worried and you couldn’t even open your eyes because you were concentrating so hard on just surviving the pain, you started to panic. This is when you were initiated into the sisterhood of women who realized childbirth was not going to come easily or naturally for them. Your priorities started to shift. Your midwife pointed out your babies dropping heart rate on the monitor and said it’s time. And remember the sound of the sweet cries? You strained to see past the blue curtain to know the face that went with the most beautiful sound you’d ever heard.
With time the surprise of the c-section delivery faded but the reality of the c-section set in. When that first nurse asked you to try getting out of bed and the ripping pain of a body cut apart and stitched back together seared through you, you realized the irony of anybody who talks about a c-section as “the easy way out”.
Mama, take a look at that beautiful baby in your arms. It’s ok to feel frustrated. It’s ok to feel disappointed. Your baby only needs to know how much you love him and how hard you fought to bring his life into the world. There will be some women who make you feel judged. They will listen to your story and they will nod knowingly at the part where they think you and your doctors went all wrong. Give them grace.
Mama what I most want you to know is you are strong. You fought for the life of your child with all that you had in you. You didn't choose the c-section but you can choose who the c-section makes you and how you choose to do it. Give yourself some grace with the slow painful recovery process and with the emotions involved in not getting the birth you had planned for. You’ve got a big job in front of you. You’re gonna need all the grace you can get.