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The Five Things I Don't Want for Mother's Day

This article, entitled The Five Things I Don't Want for Mother's Day comes from Nicole Knepper, writer of Moms Who Drink and Swear © on

My father in law (may he be resting in perfect peace) used to say that he enjoyed giving me gifts because I was so easy to please and always so grateful.

It’s true. I don't want or need much and I'm perfectly content with the things that I have. I’m not into clothes, shoes or jewelry and I’d prefer gifts of service and time, to knick-knacks any day of the week.

Ah, but Mother’s Day is coming and I do so like to be celebrated and remembered, because let’s be honest – this parenting gig IS hard work and a little show appreciation goes a long way.

Natalie Slater, the awesome blogger behind Bake and Destroy, asked me to contribute my list of five things I would like as Mother’s Day gifts for a blog post. Wow, was that a fun list to make and as soon as Natalie posts the blog, I promise to post a link! But as I made my dream gift list, it was inevitable that I thought about the kind of stuff I just don’t want and if my list makes me sound like an ungrateful twat – SO BE IT!

  1. Chore coupons. I don't know any moms that enjoy receiving these paper fibs on Mother's Day. LIES! Chore coupons? At our house, no kid has the option of choosing what chores they will do.

  2. Flowers. Any kind of flowers. No.

  3. Matching "Best Mom Ever" pajamas. Nobody is the best mom EVER, we all sort of suck, so why would I walk around wearing a lie across my chest?

  4. Knick-knacks make me nervous. A) Knick-knacks are clutter and clutter makes me feel closed in and overwhelmed, like Princess Leia in the trash compactor in "Star Wars", and B) Clutter requires regular dusting, which is work, so this gift is actually the gift of work, and I don't think giving someone more chores is a very nice gift.

  5. Candy. It's not that I dislike candy, because I love candy so fiercely and deeply that I want to hug it hard. If I want candy, I can get some candy! Scooping up some candy at Walgreens is basically admitting that you didn't move a creative or thoughtful muscle in preparation of Mother's Day celebration.

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