Are You Stupid Smart?

This article, entitled Personality Disorders 101 comes from Nicole Knepper, writer of Moms Who Drink and Swear on chicagonow.com.

There are far too many people on this planet who are unable to approach things with an open mind. These people are either unable or unwilling, (I haven’t figured out if it’s one or the other, or both) to walk a mile in someone else’s shoes.

And by walking in someone else’s shoes, I don’t mean putting on your pal’s stinky sneakers and taking a stroll around the ‘hood. Being able to consider the idea that our planet has billions – BILLIONS – of human beings, all who are unique individuals with unique experiences, and acknowledging these things as important and valid is hard.

Did you know that? Well, it is. But it’s not impossible.

I know several people who are stupid smart. Being stupid smart is like being skinny fat. Some skinny people have fat insides, gunky goop in their arteries, you know? On the outside, they look like the picture of health, but their insides tell different story. Stupid smart is like that.

A stupid smart person knows a lot of stuff. For example, a stupid smart person might have a lot of education and information about the human body, but they don’t know anything about human emotions. They have an average to above average I.Q., but they lack emotional intelligence. Do you know what emotional intelligence is?

Emotional intelligence (EI) refers to the ability to perceive, control and evaluate emotions. Some researchers suggest that emotional intelligence can be learned and strengthened, while others claim it is an inborn characteristic.

I think there are some people who just can’t learn at all. Not the important stuff anyway.

A person who is emotionally intelligent has insight. Do you know what insight is? Do you know why you say and do the things you do? Do you think about why other people say and do the things they do?

I don’t think anybody really does, at least not completely. But it is a very human thing to wonder and try to figure it out.

There are over seven BILLION people on the planet. That is a lot of people, right? Sometimes when I’m walking down the street, wearing my own shoes, of course, I look up at a building and think about how many people might be living there. Let’s see, 10 story building, 10 apartments on each floor. If only one person lives in each apartment, that’s 100 people. Not a billion, but still, a lot of people, yes?

I wonder if those people have comfortable shoes. I hope they do. I remind myself that people who have pinchy shoes are often cranky and add that to the list of things I want to remember to consider about others when they are cranky. I realize that if my shoes were pinchy, I’d be too cranky to care about others.

Emotional intelligence. Insight. I wonder how many of the 100 people in the building have these gifts.

All 100 people have hearts, brains, etc. I consider the fact that they have lived 100 very different lives and had 100 very different experiences, so it would make sense to think that these 100 people who have different opinions, feelings, preferences, ideas, etc. I surmise that a good chunk of these 100 people are stupid smart and skinny fat.

ARE YOU STILL WITH ME?

Good. Maybe you aren’t stupid smart. I hope you aren’t. But if you are stupid smart, and you are still with me, I want to tell you something.

Everybody knows it. They do. Because unlike arteries that are stopped up and clogged, you generate a continuous flow of stupidity. Or ignorance. I guess it depends on whether you are stupid smart because you are unable or unwilling to shut up and listen to anything but your own ideas and opinions.

Being stupid smart is not like being skinny fat. Skinny fat people hide the truth, but stupid smart people really can’t. Stupid smart people tell you to snap out of your depression. Stupid smart people express unsolicited opinions on everything from you sexuality, the way you dress, parent, think, eat, drink, walk, talk, believe, worship, etc.

Stupid smart people are either unable or unwilling to see things from another’s perspective, which as I said earlier, is very hard to do. But it’s not impossible.

Stupid smart people say, “What you do is wrong because it’s not what I’d do,” and “Your thoughts are wrong because I don’t think that way,” and “Your feelings are wrong, because that’s not how I feel,” and last but certainly not least – “I hear you talking about your experience, but let me tell you all the ways you are WRONG and how I disagree with you.”

Stupid smart people want you to hear them, but they don’t listen to you. And nobody wants to listen to them either most of the time, yet they can’t seem to figure that out. I’m glad I’m smart enough to know that I can’t change that, yet smart enough not to let it stop me from sharing the stories that act as shoes for all your smarties who want to take a walk on the wild side – those of you who know EXACTLY why I wrote and shared my shoes with you today.



About the Author...
Nicole Knepper
Nicole Knepper is a Licensed Clinical Professional Counselor with two advanced degrees (psychology and gerontology) whose blog, "Moms who Drink and Swear," became the basis for her first book.
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