To quote a John Prine song, I am a “whacked out weirdo and a love bug junkie.”
Yes, it’s true; Valentine’s Day is my favorite holiday. Whatever the problem, the answer is more love. Kid’s being crazy, dogs are being worse, the house is a mess, and I woke up late for work again. My job as momma is still to find the silver lining in all of this. No matter the circumstance, I must find the reason to love, to smile. To crack a silly joke while I am squeezing myself into my Spanx tights.
People say it’s not what you do, rather with whom you do it that matters. And lucky me, I even to get run late with my favorite three-year-old person. The tricky part is to get to the place where I can honor the teacher inside my little honey-haired cutie. You see, she is a bit more of a dreamer than I am. The words “in a hurry” mean nothing to her.
Whether we woke up early or on time has zero effect on her. She still needs to create an original ditty on her cat keyboard while she eats her banana painfully slowly and precisely. She still needs time to create, reflect and enjoy life on her own terms. She needs to fully straighten and align her socks on her toes before she can slip on her Minnetonka moccasin boots (hot pink with fringe, of course). It really is a wonderful lesson to me if I can be still enough to hear it.
Slow down, enjoy the beauty of the silly moments.
Maybe I will bang out an out-of-tune rag time jam on the keyboard. Nobody is going to die today if I am ten minutes later. However, if I continue to scream and threaten and plead and cajole, I may just squash her need to create. I may diminish her ability to connect to the world on her terms. She needs those few minutes of beauty and grace before she heads off to preschool like I need my double shot of espresso with cream.
I may not do it perfectly, but my goal this year is to appreciate those things about her. My “GET DRESSED NOW; I MEAN NOW; NOT TEN MINUTES FROM NOW, BUT NOOOOOOWWWW!” can stop. It’s much more fun and productive to go dance in her room in my slip and hot rollers than it is to yell. Two minutes. Sometimes that is all it takes to switch from being annoyed and stressed to just being in the moment. Is giving her two minutes to be crazy wild women together too much to ask? In the stressed time crunch of our mornings, it is hard to remember to do that. Be in that moment for two minutes.
And isn’t that what we all want for ourselves, our spouses, our children? To be fully present and joyous in the moment? I want to appreciate the way that little splotch of early-morning sun comes in through the window. I want to appreciate the way it hits her eyes and they glow that Italian hunter-green color the way her grandpa’s did.
She comes from a long line of piddlers. My daddy could easily take twenty minutes to put his shoes on before we could leave. There was a magical, artistic ritual to everything he did. Saylor Jayne has almost every ounce of that in her.
I just finished reading a book that was designed to help me understand and relate to my “spirited child.” The biggest lesson was to stand back and try to understand how children relate to the world. Try to just love more; believe in a little more magic. That is a lesson that I want to apply to every aspect of my life.
Whether I am relating to clients, friends, insurance agents, tech support, I will be more loving in my daily endeavors. Happy love day, friends.