Baby Proofing Gone Bad...

Danielle Herzog

This article, entitled One Sick Kid & One Crawler – I Now Understand Afternoon Drinking comes from Danielle Herzog's blog Martinis and Minivans at martinisandminivans.com.

My son is about to be one year old. He is crawling, walking on the sides of furniture, and basically wreaking havoc in our lives. When my daughter, who is now almost 4 years old, would see an outlet full of cords, you could almost imagine her saying, “Oh wait, that doesn’t look safe, I’ll just crawl over here instead.” From that experience, we thought our baby-proofing skills were exceptional. However, we have those same locks on the cabinets, and the same baby gates up, yet out 1-year-old views this as a challenge. We imagine him saying, “Those silly little humans, thinking they can cage the wild beast.”

Take for example, this weekend. I was cooking in the kitchen when I heard an unusual sound. It was the sound of silence. Nothing good is happening in the world of a toddler when you hear silence. I peeked around the wall to find my son taking a cord he unplugged from the wall (which he moved a toy box to get to) and was shoving it down the front of his diaper.

Yes, you read that correctly. My one year old son was attempting to shock his private parts. Luckily, I realized this before any shock waves could actually be sent, and promptly said, “No!” with a loud voice. He looked up at me, stared right into my eyes, and started laughing. We’re screwed.



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