I am wishing I could be two places at once.
It was lovely, but as you all know, my maternity leave is over. I am back on the air. I am missing my girls. I am like millions of other moms who have young children but also work outside the home. I am wishing I could be two places at once. I am unsuccessful in achieving that.
Honestly, I consider myself fortunate that I am able to return to a job I absolutely love. I know that not all working mothers have that luxury. Additionally, so many of you warmly welcomed me back to the airwaves with Facebook messages and emails, and that truly helped take the sting out of not getting to spend all my time with my sweet Baby Kate.
I realized shortly after Kate was born that it would be harder to leave her to go back to work than it was to leave Lauren. Don't get me wrong--Lauren was just as amazing of a baby as Kate is. However, Lauren taught me what every other parent will tell you but you never know until you live through it: that babies grow up so fast. One day you're delighting that they've reached ten pounds, and in a blink of an eye, they've reached ten months. One day they're rolling over, and soon, they have you rolling with laughter because of something hilarious that came out of their tiny toddler mouth. Time stops for no one, and it seems the older we get, the faster time goes.
I think of my grandmother, who is 98 years old, and what it must feel like to see her children grow up and have children, and then her children's children bring new little lives in the world. She was once 33 years old, too, with little ones at home, and her entire life in front of her (fortunately for those of us who love her so dearly). I know that she would tell me it all has gone by so quickly, but you can never fully understand that until you live it yourself.
I'll be honest--I cried in the final days of my maternity leave whenever I was holding Kate and my thoughts would drift to returning to work. It was not the fact that I was going to work that moved me tears; it was leaving my baby. It was knowing that for a certain amount of time each weekday, I wouldn't get to cradle her in my arms and see her giant blue eyes looking up at me.
At some point in the last week, I made an important decision. I would pray as often as necessary to find joy in every situation, and peace. The results have been amazing. I can't be in two places at once, but I can make the most of each moment, regardless of where I am.