Me: Please go brush your teeth!
Her: I lost my toothbrush.
Me: Wait. What? Lost? How is that even possible?
Her: I think I lost it at camp.
Me: You have been back from camp for two weeks.
Her: I know. And my teeth are really starting to feel super gross.
Me: So you are telling me that you haven't brushed your teeth since you were at camp?
Her: No, that's not what I'm telling you.
Me: But you haven't seen your toothbrush since camp?
Her: Nope. It's lost. But one time I used your toothbrush and one time I used Dad's, so I have brushed my teeth since I was at camp.
Me: Oh, what a relief. Here I was thinking you hadn't brushed them at all.
Her: That would be disgusting.
Me: Totally disgusting.
Please tell me this kind of stuff happens at your house. Please, please, please...